I just bought the most ridiculous skirt.
I bought a skirt. For a not-insubstantial amount of money. Because it is hilariously ironic. Please lord, tell me this does not qualify me as a hipster.
So I’m paging through Anthropologie when a skirt with a border in a pretty shade of blue catches my eye. I click on it. It’s called ” “, and it features a very old-school style map marked with places labeled with pseudo-Roman names. I zoom in on the map, curious about just how offensive some of these old-school place names might be, if this is an actual copy of an old map. And what do I find?
It’s a map of the fucking HAMPTONS. The Hamptons, my friends, though you have to squint pretty hard to make out the names of the islands. I am taking such a perverse joy in imaging so many upper-middle class women buying this “Map of the World” skirt and thinking it makes them look bookish and whimsical. Not realizing that they are wearing a pretty darned ironic stylized map of the Hamptons.
So I put it in my cart and noticed a few hours later that the sale price had dropped even lower. Was this a sign from the gods or something? I chose to believe it was, and so I purchased it.
I told Mr. Marzipan that I couldn’t wait to wear it, get compliments from pretentious fair trade coffee shop employees, and then watch looks of confusion take over their faces when I say, “Thanks, it’s a map of the Hamptons.” I am pretty sure that this makes me a jerk. I don’t care. It was too much to pass up. Nearly as good as the J Crew Vulva Skirt, which, lamentably, I did not buy.
For your viewing pleasure. ”Landmasses and explorers’ ships send this pleated chiffon skirt on a global adventure. By Anna Sui for Anthropologie” Yeah, a global adventure from “Southamtonia Portvs” to “Pugets port”…thanks for that, Anna Sui and Anthropologie. Way to punk your customers. You sneaky, disgusting, brilliant people.
Yeah I didn’t know where to put this because everywhere I could think of would have garnered “LOL”s instead of the “wtf, seriously, not funny!”s it deserves.
I went to high school with this chick. Once I saw her write something reasonably intelligent about the importance of improving our primary school system in America. I was stunned. Then I clicked on her profile and realized it was actually someone from my college, who shares her first name. Yeah, oops.
Child rape jokes! They’re totally hi-lar!!!!
VPL designer Victoria Bartlett is launching vegan shoes for Spring 2012 for all of the animal product-free women out there who still want their shoes to come with high design and style. She will continue to offer leather options as well but hopes to expand her use of faux leather to fashionable bags and coats in the future.
-JK [via Style.com]
fantastic!
Where did all the gay hair go? :-O
I am cutting my hair off and so have been obsessively looking for images of the most excellent short hair cuts, so I can insure that my FIRST EVER SHORT HAIR CUT (seriously, my hair has not been short since I was a baby) turns out exactly as I’d like. And in the process, I discovered that until just a few days ago there was a first-rate tumblr called fuckyeahlesbianhaircuts. I’ve seen a few pages of it cached, and it was brimming with photos of short cuts that I am certain would look just (okay, maybe only nearly) as badass on a straight chick like myself. But now it’s gone! Where did it go?! Does anyone know how I can retrieve this treasure trove of hair?
Mr. Marzipan is in the process of applying to grad school…
So these are the sorts of conversations we end up having.
Mr. Marzipan:
oh hey
im gonna be going to school with emma watson next year
Me:
lulz
she dropped out
Mr. Marzipan:
she’s at oxford now
Me:
ohhh
really?
Mr. Marzipan
yeah
Me:
i guess she got homesick
Mr. Marzipan:
i hope to fuck i’m her TA
no i’m sorry hermione that is not correct
MY NAME IS EMMA YOU FUCKWIT
Me:
lololol
that would be awesome
Mr. Marzipan:
TEN POINTS FROM KINGS COLLEGE
…Poor Emma Watson. Leaves Brown to avoid all the Harry Potter teasing/gawking and just gets it worse in England…from her American TA. God, why do I find this so funny??
I’m kind of amazed at how much time I’ve spent on my Halloween costume so far. And I haven’t even begun to sew it yet. If it doesn’t turn out right…I will die. I mean that. I will be forced to die, after using THAT much time from my life trying to get it so perfect.
I love Halloween like crazy. I’ve said this before—I wish I had a life where I could be paid to just craft and wear amazing historically-inspired Halloween costumes. That would SO BE THE LIFE.
So I haven’t been using tumblr much lately, but today I got a notification that someone reblogged a post I made like half a year ago about getting a custom engagement ring. The post was a really substanceless criticism of the very idea if having a second engagement ring and I found it to be ridiculous (especially because her tumblr name suggests she’s only 19 years old). I wanted to respond, but she hasn’t enabled Ask, Submit, or Reply functions. Ballsy!
It seems especially ridiculous considering she doesn’t know me, let alone my relationship or details of why I would get a second rung to begin with. For one, Mr. Marzipan didn’t buy my ring; he didn’t even pick it out. I did both, and I exercised really poor judgment in choosing it, sadly. No one should have to wear something every day for their entire life if it doesn’t suit them at all (especially if it makes them feel unsafe on public transit and in streets, as mine does…and I pretty much ONLY use public transit/walk). Fortunately I regard it as a pretty cocktail ring now, and break it out occasionally, but the fact remains that I still don’t have an engagement ring that I want to keep for that purpose. I bought this cheap rose gold and Morgante ring and it’s really really plain and NOBODY recognizes that it’s an engagement ring, even though it’s on the appropriate finger. I kind if don’t care anymore, but all the same, it’d be nice if I had one that people could identify for what it was and also that looked like it actually belonged to someone with my aesthetic preferences. I don’t have any money right now and Mr. Marzipan is anxiously banking his money because we don’t know where grad school is going to take us, so getting a new ring has taken a backseat to, like, everything. That doesn’t mean I don’t still want to do it at some point. I do. And Mr. Marzipan feels strongly about helping to pay for it one day as well. And all this my prerogative so it doesn’t matter what other people think or assume about all of it.
Some people don’t have many or very strong stylistic preferences. Some are just delighted to find a man who will hand them a ring. Some don’t think jewelry is a worthwhile investment. Whatever, that’s great; it takes all types to make the world go ‘round. For me, I’m a fashion historian, I have extremely strong stylistic preferences, and I grew up in a family that was always too poor to afford anything worthy of becoming an heirloom so I think it’d be really nice to have a beautiful ring made with recycled and fairly sourced materials, or maybe a fantastic antique, to do that. If you don’t get that doesn’t mean you’re right and I’m wrong. It just means you don’t get it, and, unless you’re the sort to have the means to make nonessential purchases and yet forego ALL of them…you have no right to look upon me as if from some moral highground. Can we all just be a little less judgmental?
Mr. Marzipan and I were at the General Assembly where they announced the creation of the POC Working Group and were really stoked and had super-high hopes for it and what it’d mean for the movement as a whole. I’m glad it is really taking off. I wish I had a job in New York. I’m sad I can’t be at OWS every day.
PEOPLE OF COLOR WORKING GROUP @ OCCUPYWALLSTREET
Today’s meeting gave me new hope for people of color. It showed me that we never give up. That we fight for our people when the time calls for it. That we can come together and unify in the midst of all this oppression, when the cards are stacked most against us.
One guy argued that we should take this opportunity to educate our communities, and bring this energy and organization to the hood, where the oppression is most evident. the dude read my mind.
There were sub-committees for concerns such as students, arts and culture, press, social media, education, research, etc etc. I (kind of) joined the education committee where they’re proposing to train people on different facets of oppression, such as racism, patriarchy, environmental racism, gentrification, among others.
Then to finish it off there was a bombazo, which is when drummers circle around and play while someone in the middle dances to the beat. i was hype! there were ppl clapping, shaking maracas, singing along: TUMBA LA PARED! (BREAK DOWN THE WALL!) This musical/cultural outlet is EXACTLY what keeps social movements alive. you cannot have a social movement strictly be about politics. You need culture. You need to identify with your roots. People of color are rich in ancestral tradition and veneration.
This kind of energy makes me wanna come back down to the city for good and join my people in solidarity as the times demand it.
*this is the people of color working group Google Group:
*this is the tumblr page: pococcupywallstreet
(Source: kemetically-afrolatino)
Sadly, this is probably the most believable Onion article I’ve ever seen.
do they?
Oh god I am so happy to know that I was not the only weirdo with this reaction. HER HAIR COULD NOT BE MORE PERFECT IN THIS and I could hardly pay attention to the plotline because I was too busy lusting after her locks. I mean seriously. I thought hair like that only existed in 19th century children’s illustrated storybooks and stuff.
When I get my hair chopped off, I’m also going to get a color consultation to talk about a red that might work for my coloration. The short hair is something I’ve been thinking about for nearly three years, the red for two. It takes me a long time to find the courage to modify the same hair I’ve had my entire life, I guess. Lol…definitely not a “hair is my palette for self-expression” sort of person. Mostly I just want to cut my hair off right now because it always feels in the way and I rarely wear it down and I rarely take advantage of its length and I just can’t stop looking at my photos and thinking, “Wow, this would look so much better if I had short, cute hair instead of this awkward pinned-back deal.” I have to pin my side bangs back at work and I did it every day in Morocco because I felt most comfortable being as modestly dressed as possible while still wearing my western clothes and obviously not wearing full-on hijab…hair was definitely included in this. And we stopped in some little no man’s land towns where I had experiences that left me very, very happy with my decision. So.
I am almost actually crying over her hair right now
(Source: aryastarks)
Found while looking through Fuck Yeah Girls With Short Hair, because I’m chopping all my hair off, hopefully in November. I love the animation in this photo…it really was taken at just the right moment. This scenario is so familiar to me, haha.
Today on my list of things not to repeat:
Sleep for roughly seven hours over the course of three days, then, while falling asleep, get into an argument with a well-known vegan activist about why a t-shirt proclaiming, “Fur is for Cunts” is gross and harmful, even if the five people he ran it by before having it printed thought that the cute double meaning (hair—“fur”—grows on cunts and belongs there, while another animal’s fur doesn’t belong on a person’s back after being sewn into a luxury good) made it okay.
No. Until women are treated as equals in our society, and until their genitals are thought of as powerful and impressive instead of gross, it’s not equivalent to calling someone a “dick” and you’re not going to be able to reclaim the word, and we’re certainly a million years away from ever being able to benignly use it as an insult. ARGH.
And I am just not mentally alert enough to have really effectively argued that point. Some people ‘liked’ my posts, but no one else commented to add anything. I could have used that.
I haven’t used my credit card in two years, but I recently reactivated it because I had to put a “hold fee” down for an international cell phone . What a dirty little device this credit card is…its allure is too strong. I really can’t wait to deactivate it again. It really doesn’t help that my entire region flooded this past week, and so I made about a third of what I usually do in a week because almost NO ONE thought to themselves, “Hey! I think I’ll venture into a flooded city, navigate through all of the closed roads, and drop $200 on a dinner while floodwaters are ravaging my basement and first flood. Sounds like a great plan.” Dear FEMA, can you hit me up with some of that disaster relief funding? Because my pay suffered due to that federal emergency, big time :’( And I’m only working Tuesday and Wednesday this week and won’t be back to work again till October 3. Ughughughugh.
Can’t resist reblogging a dress by Jean-Philippe Worth.
Jean-Philippe Worth dress ca. 1902 via The Costume Institute of the Metropolitan Museum of Art
